Article author: Ernest Quansah
The words “how to find love” sound almost sad. They penetrate the heart and mind as if to indicate that they come from a man or woman struggling to know how to find love. But finding true love is something that eludes millions of lovers and couples alike. You go into a relationship hoping you have found THE ONE just to be disappointed. For many of you, the cycle seems to repeat itself. So how do you find love?
Before we discuss this, there are a number of reasons why, for many people, finding love is a challenge. It is very important that we get that out of our own way. Below are my top reasons why most relationships and marriages fail within the first three years.
Many years ago, the number one cause of divorce was related to finances. These days, however, that is no longer the case. Break-ups and divorces are commonly caused by an accumulation of problems. The most common problems are:
Not following your intuition: Some years ago, I interviewed a number of divorced men and women. I asked what, in their own heart, they believed the cause of the demise of their marriage was. The most common answer I received was that they knew they were wrong for each other but they married anyway in the hope that the marriage would work. I have heard this so many times. Others told me that prior to their marriage, their parents told them that they had a feeling their child was marrying the wrong man or woman.
Not wanting to be alone: Second, why is it that most people—particularly women, according to research—refuse to listen to their intuition; their gut feeling? The answer to that question is really simple. They don’t want to be alone. For many adults, especially those in their mid to late thirties, a chance for marriage may be the closest they will ever come to having a spouse, so they go ahead and marry, even if the RED FLAG is being waved at them.
Lack of preparation: Third is the lack of preparation. Even when two people feel that they are made for each other, that alone will not protect their love relationship or marriage. Here is what I mean by that. When you go out and buy a brand-new car and pay if off in cash, the car becomes your personal property. It is yours. It belongs to you. No one can take it away from you. However, if you decide not to learn how to drive properly and you go out speeding and crash the car so that it is totaled, you have no one to blame for losing the car but yourself. You drove the car into a tree and destroyed it. The car did not destroy itself. When something belongs to you, it is up to you to take care of it so that it lasts. That is how the world works. Love relationships are no different. If you are in one or are married, but choose to treat your significant other in a manner that causes the person to leave, the end result is due to your own actions, not because the two of you didn’t belong together.
Unwillingness to listen: Last is the unwillingness to listen. I don’t know why that is. The world is far more advanced than it has ever been. Everything you need to be happy is around you. The information for succeeding in marriage is around you and everyone else. Despite the advancement in knowledge, one thing that we are not good at is listening. For example: the people who I asked about the cause of their divorce all had one thing in common—they didn’t want to listen. This included listening to their gut feeling—their intuition. Even those who knew that they were marrying the wrong person did so because they did not listen to that small voice that whispered to them, “Don’t do it,” or “He is not the one,” or “She is not the one.” It comes down to—you guessed it—DECISION MAKING. How do you find love? Make decisions that will yield the desired result. Listen to your intuition when you are looking for love. It is okay to be alone while you try to find your true love. Then, when you have found love, be prepared to nurture it. Finally, listen by taking good advice and applying it. The doing part is the only way to accomplish your desire to find love.